Home » Entries posted by Dr. Keith Kanner (Page 3)
Stories written by Dr. Keith Kanner

Dangerous games, failing grades, drug and alcohol abuse, habitual rebellious behavior, and in the worst case, teenage suicide, are all examples of “warning signs” that a “tween” or adolescent are in trouble, and that their behavior is not normal as compared to what is considered expected for a teenager.  The old adage that “kids will […]

Continue reading …

In order to truly break a habit, we need to fully understand exactly what a habit represents. In other words, habits are complex due to the fact that they are a part of our personality or character. Here, the habit functions as an active component of our lifestyle serving commonly a multitude of functions or […]

Continue reading …

Confidence is the capacity to believe in oneself and not be in a place of self-doubt or worry.  How is confidence established? Self-confidence is earned, not given. A belief in oneself must be attained first hand by the person and absorbed into one’s mind as internal strength. The development of confidence comes from experiencing successful experiences […]

Continue reading …

Assertiveness is the capacity to comfortably communicate one’s feelings and intentions in a positive and confident manner. Once a child has established the capacity to rely on themselves age appropriately and demonstrate consideration for another, assertion has to do with how a child then communicates themselves to others. Assertiveness is based on healthy self-esteem and […]

Continue reading …

“Treat others the way you wish to be treated”. Such a simple cliche but if a child has not developed the capacity to put themselves in another’s shoes, consideration is not possible. When is a child old-enough to be considerate and how can they be taught this virtue? Normal Developmental Theory teaches us that before a […]

Continue reading …

Virtue, developmental milestone, or perhaps the single most valuable human trait, self-reliance is about the capacity to self-care. Once a child has achieved the notion of existing independently from their caregivers, the optimal parenting position is to assist their child in learning how to transition from receiving and internalizing love and nurturance to applying this […]

Continue reading …

Transitions

No Comment

Transitions.  Transitions are always difficult whether you are a two-year old learning to toilet train, a 13-year old transitioning to high school, or, a 60 year old person retiring.  Transitions deal with change.  Change introduces conflict and, too much conflict leads to anxiety.  Depending upon one’s attitude, a transition can be seen as an opportunity […]

Continue reading …

Many fathers never realize how important they are to the development of their children.  Yet, as early as in Infancy, the father’s participation in the basic needs of a child have tremendous immediate as well as lasting effects.  For example, when fathers help with holding, feeding, and soothing an infant, this experience provides the child with […]

Continue reading …

Delusions – When one thinks of the term “delusional”, the first thing that comes to mind is “crazy”, but, when you think about it, everyone is somewhat delusional.  In typical everyday situations, everyone bases their interpretation of an outcome on their previous experiences.  After all, that is all one knows.  We call this experience.  What has […]

Continue reading …

Change is a conscious choice that often times is conquered by unconscious baggage.  Take smokers for example.  Most people who smoke cigarettes know that they will eventually kill them and want to “quit”, but can’t.  Why?  Because there are underlying conflicts that keep the person “hooked” and any change is experienced as terrifying.  Yep, that’s […]

Continue reading …

“OUCH”.  The connotations associated with Tough Love are commonly negative.  It feels as though the approach is “mean” and “harsh”, rather than a “wake up” call that behavior needs to change.  The approach does entail “love”, but the delivery is not done in a teddy bear fashion.  It is direct and to the point.  The behavior […]

Continue reading …

Planning ahead for a successful summer is important for the mental health of the child and parent alike.  Many parents wait until the very last minute to schedule activities for their child creating problems with scheduling and camps filling up quickly.  Another common pitfall is either allowing the child free reign about their summer activities […]

Continue reading …