How do you love your child?

Carmel Valley San Diego Community | Five Love Languages | Dr. de FreitasIn the book, The Five Love Languages of Children, Dr. Gary Chapman, PhD and Dr. Ross Campbell, MD, outline five ways kids (and all people) ‘express and interpret’ love. They are:

  • Words of affirmation
  • Spending quality time
  • Receiving gifts
  • Acts of service
  • Physical touch
According to the book, every child has one dominant way of expressing and receiving love.  The other four ways are also important, but secondary.  On a side note: you can take a short quiz with your child on the book’s website to determine theirs primary way of expressing & receiving love.  The book explains each love language, what it means, and highlights the many, many different ways we can show love to our children.
I encourage every parent in the Carmel Valley San Diego community, to consider what their child’s love language is.  How do they show love?  How do they receive it?  Is having your undivided attention while you spend time together most important, or does a hug and a kiss mean more?  There are no right or wrong answers here, only a chance to know and connect with your child more meaningfully. With this in mind, here are some suggestions for expressing love in five ways:

Words of affirmation – 
Kids don’t have to have achieved something measurable, like a grade in school or a winning game, to deserve words of praise and love. Tell them that you love them often.

Quality time
– Do something new and out-of-the-ordinary with your child, start a new Valentine’s Day (or just Tuesday) tradition where you spend meaningful together. Pick an activity that you child particularly likes.

Receiving gifts – This is easy. All kids enjoy small surprise gifts. Simple things such as a sugar free lollipop, or stickers!!

Act of service – 
Helping with homework, teaching them a new skill, driving them to a play date or even reading to your kids all show love and caring through actions.

Physical touch – 
Hugs! Lots and lots of hugs and kisses.


Carmel Valley San Diego Community | Dr. Chrystal de Freitas

Founder of Healthy Chats, Dr. Chrystal de Freitas is a pediatrician, author and mother of three children who has a special interest in health education. She completed her pediatric training at the University of Washington, in Seattle, WA, and has been in private practice for 22 years. She practiced with North County Health Services in Encinitas, for 6 years. In 2004, Dr. de Freitas opened her solo private practice of pediatrics, Carmel Valley Pediatrics in San Diego, CA.


Carmel Valley San Diego Community | RIDE Cyclery Encinitas

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