Tired and Run Down


I’ve been feeling really run down and tired lately and have a few people in my life who really drain my energy. In talking to my girlfriend, she said that it’s because I’m participating in an unequal energy exchange with those people. I kind of get what she’s saying, but don’t really understand how to fix the situation. What exactly is an energy exchange and how do I fix this? Do I need to avoid these people altogether? One of them is a co-worker so that would be pretty tricky.

– Tired

Dear Tired,

Carmel Valley San Diego Community | Gillian Walker | Question of the Week | bad-marriage-fighting-coupleWe’re all made up of energy.  Everything that appears to be solid, you, me, the laptop I’m writing this on, is comprised of energy.  This is not California, hippy, woowoo stuff, this is simple physics.  Whenever we engage with others, our energies, the stuff we are comprised of, are passing back and forth between one another. Some call this an energetic exchange.

For example, there are people you know whose presence uplifts and energizes you even when you are in difficult circumstances together.  Also, there are people who always leave you feeling drained and exhausted even in the most pleasant circumstances.  These are energetic exchanges.

Now imagine that your energetic body is a house and it has a gauge on the wall signifying at what level your energy stores are at.  At the top is a marker that represents 100% and then various markers countdown various percentages all the way down to 0%. Of course, you operate best at 100%. This house has many doors. Some are open, some are closed.  Every open door represents an energetic tie to someone else.  Ideally, every open door represents an equal exchange of energy between you and another, leaving you with 100% of your energy intact. This would be a healthy and positive exchange.

Often, however, we allow doors to remain open to people who drain our energy, rather than participate in an equal exchange. This is the case with you. You have too many doors open to people who take what you offer without giving anything in exchange. Let’s say you have 5 of these doors open, and through each open door you are giving 10% of your energy. Since you are receiving very little in exchange, your gauge on the wall shows that you are operating at 50% instead of 100%.

No wonder you are feeling exhausted and run down!

Here is my advice for you:

  1. Close the doors that are draining your energy:  Lie down, close your eyes and visualize your energetic house. Then ask yourself, what doors need to be closed in order for me to feel better?  Imagine yourself closing each individual door and watch the energy gauge on the wall rise every time a door is shut. Once you are back to 100%, imagine that from now on, those doors are sealed shut. Every interaction you have with these people will be through a small window with a glass partition which prevents energy from leaking out.
  2. Take some time away from the people you are able to take time away from:  Prepare them for this by letting them know ahead of time that you are going to be unavailable for a period of time while you sort some things out. Give yourself at least 3 weeks if possible. Notice how you feel during those three weeks. Journal your process.  At the end of the time period, decide what your boundaries will be with these people moving forward. For some, you might decide to remain away from. For others, you will simply need to set limits to when, where and how often you allow them into your life.
  3. Set clear boundaries and stick to them:  For those who must remain in your life, ask yourself, “What is it that drains my energy when interacting with this person?”  When you have your answer or answers, write it down and make a promise to yourself that you will no longer allow that energy pull. Then come up with a plan of what you will do to prevent that situation from happening again. For example, my friend has a parent that is extremely negative and difficult to spend time with. Every time my friend visits, he plans something else so that he only has to deal with this parent for an hour at a time. In that way, he doesn’t feel guilty about neglecting his parent, yet at the same time, he is honoring the fact that this parent is a major energy sucker.

Remember that you have all the power. You and only you choose who is allowed to be in your life and at what level.

I hope this was helpful for you. If you feel you’d like more help, or need some assistance in shutting those energetic doors, feel free to contact me about an Intuitive Reiki Healing session.

Please email me with your questions at shinygilly@shinygilly.com

Shine on!


Carmel Valley San Diego Community | Gillian Sky WalkerGillian Sky Walker believes in you!  Her belief that her life’s calling is to be an inspiration and source of encouragement to as many people as possibe led her to create shinygilly.com, where she offers personal growth and wellness videos as Shiny Gilly.  Gillian has over 15 years of counseling, teaching and speaking experience.  She is the founder of Therapeutic Trance Training and leads several trainings a year, certifying others in this method.  Her authentic and dynamic delivery makes wellness accessible and fun for everyone.  Her certifications include Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, NLP Practitioner, Registered Yoga Teacher and Reiki Master.  Gillian spends most of her time speaking, teaching and filming.  She and her husband run Shiny Gilly Productions, filming web content for local business owners out of their home studio.  They also co-host a youtube show together where they discuss current events, interview local business owners, and answer relationship questions.  They are finishing up a book on dating advice that will be released later this year


Carmel Valley San Diego Community | RIDE Cyclery Encinitas

You must be logged in to post a comment Login